Al's friend Rachel
invited him to go to the lake for the day with her family. Rachel thought Al
was fun to be around — plus he was cute. Rachel really hoped he'd say yes.
Al turned Rachel
down. He liked Rachel, too, but was self-conscious about taking off his
T-shirt. He worried that her family and others at the lake would see what he
saw when he looked in the mirror — a scrawny excuse for a man. Al hadn't gone
to the pool in more than a year because he was so self-conscious about his
appearance.
The Truth About Guys
Many people think of
guys as being carefree when it comes to their appearance. But the reality is
that a lot of guys spend plenty of time in front of the mirror. It's a fact —
some guys care just as much as girls do about their appearance.
You may hear a lot
about being a tough guy, but how often do you hear that being a guy is tough?
Guys might think that they shouldn't worry about how they look, but body image
can be a real problem for them. Unlike girls, guys are less likely to talk to
friends and relatives about their bodies and how they're developing. Without
support from friends and family, they may develop a negative self-image.
The good news is that
self-image and body image can be changed.
Why Is Body Image
Important?
Body image is a
person's opinions, thoughts, and feelings about his or her own body and
physical appearance. Having a positive body image means feeling pretty
satisfied with the way you look, appreciating your body for its capabilities
and accepting its imperfections.
Body image is part of
someone's total self-image. So how a guy feels about his body can affect how he
feels about himself. If he gets too focused on not liking the way he looks, a
guy's self-esteem can take a hit and his confidence can slide. (The same thing
can happen to girls, too.)
How Puberty Affects
Body Image
Although body image
is just one part of our self-image, during the teen years, and especially
during puberty, it can be easy for a guy's whole self-image to be based on how
his body looks. That's because our bodies are changing so much during this time
that they can become the main focus of our attention.
A change in your body
can be tough to deal with emotionally — mainly because, well, your body is
yours and you have become used to it.
Some guys don't feel
comfortable in their changing bodies and can feel as if they don't know who
they are anymore. Being the only guy whose voice is changing or who's growing
body hair (or the only guy who isn't) can also make some guys feel
self-conscious for a while.
Some guys go into
puberty not feeling too satisfied with their body or appearance to begin with.
They may have wrestled with body image even before puberty started (for
example, battles with weight or dissatisfaction with height). For them, puberty
may add to their insecurities.
It Could Be in Your
Genes
It can be tough to
balance what you expect to happen to your body with what actually does happen.
Lots of guys can have high expectations for puberty, thinking they'll develop
quickly or in a certain way.
The best way to
approach your own growth and development is to not assume you'll be a certain
way. Look at everyone in your family — uncles, grandfathers, and even female
relatives — to get an idea of the kinds of options your genes may have in store
for you.
When Everyone Else
Seems Bigger
Not everyone's body
changes at the same time or even at the same pace. It can be tough if all of
your friends have already matured physically and are taller and more muscular.
Most guys eventually catch up in terms of growth, although some will always be
taller or more muscular than others — it's in their genes.
It's natural to
observe friends and classmates and notice the different ways they're growing
and developing. Guys often compare themselves with other guys in certain
settings, and one of the most common is the locker room. Whether at a local gym
or getting ready for a game at school, time in the locker room can be daunting
for any guy.
Try to keep in mind
in these situations that you aren't alone if you feel you don't "measure
up." Many guys feel exactly the same way about their own bodies — even
those whose physiques you envy. Just knowing that almost everyone else will go
through the same thing can make all the difference.
You could try talking
to a trusted male adult — maybe a coach, a doctor, a teacher, or your dad.
Chances are they went through similar experiences and had some of the same
feelings and apprehensions when their bodies were changing.
Picture Perfect?
Guys put enough
pressure on themselves, but what about the pressure society puts on them to be
perfect?
It used to be that
only girls felt the pressure of picture-perfect images, but these days the
media emphasis on men's looks creates a sense of pressure for guys, too. And
sometimes (actually, many times) that "as-advertised" body is just
not attainable. The men you see in those pictures may not even be real.
Magazines and ad agencies often alter photographs of models, either by
airbrushing the facial and muscular features, or by putting a good-looking face
on someone else's buff body.
Building a Better
Body Image
So in the face of all
the pressure society places on guys — and guys place on themselves — what can
you do to fuel a positive body image? Here are some ideas:
Recognize your
strengths. Different physical attributes and body types are good for different
things — and sometimes the things you did well as a kid can change during
puberty. What does your body do well? Maybe your speed, flexibility, strength,
or coordination leads you to excel at a certain sport. Or perhaps you have
non-sports skills, like drawing, painting, singing, playing a musical
instrument, writing, or acting. Just exploring talents that you feel good about
can help your self-esteem and how you think of yourself.
A good body doesn't
always translate into athletic success. Too often, the way guys see their body
image is closely associated with their performance on a sports field or in the
gym. The upside to this is that if you're good at a team sport, you might have
a pretty good view of your body. But what if you don't like team sports or you got
cut from a team you really wanted to make? In these cases, it helps to look at
individual accomplishments.
If you don't like
team sports, that's OK. Find another form of physical activity that gets you
going. Depending on your interests and where you live, that may be mountain
biking, rock climbing, yoga, dancing, or jogging. This will help you stay in
shape and help you to appreciate skills you may not have realized you had in a
team environment.
If you like team
sports but didn't make a particular team, don't let it get you down. Use this
as an opportunity to discover what you're good at, not to lament what you
aren't best at. Maybe try out for another team — so soccer wasn't for you, but
maybe cross-country running will be. Or, continue to practice the sport you
were cut from and try again next year. The people around you probably won't
remember that you didn't make the team — not being picked is a much bigger deal
to you than it was to them.
Look into starting a
strength training program. Exercise can help you look good and feel good about
yourself. Good physiques don't just happen — they take hard work, regular
workouts, and a healthy diet. There's no need to work out obsessively. A
healthy routine can be as simple as exercising 20 minutes to an hour 3 days a
week. Another benefit to working out properly is that it can boost your mood —
lifting weights can lift your spirits.
Don't trash your
body, respect it! To help improve your view of your body, take care of it.
Smoking and other things you know to be harmful will take a toll after a while.
Treating yourself well over time results in a healthier, stronger body — and
that contributes to a better body image. Practicing good grooming habits —
regular showering; taking care of your teeth, hair, and skin; wearing clean
clothes, etc. — also can help you build a positive body image.
Be yourself. Your
body is just one part of who you are — along with your talent for comedy, a
quick wit, or all the other things that make you unique. Your talents, skills,
and beliefs are just as much a part of you as the casing they come in. So try
not to let minor imperfections take over.
While it's important
to have a positive body image, getting too focused on body image and appearance
can cause a guy to overlook the other positive parts of himself. If you're like
most guys who take care of their bodies and wear clothes that look good, you
probably look great to others. You just might not be aware of that if you're
too busy being self-critical.
Reviewed by: D'Arcy
Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed:
January 2012
