A Guy's Guide to Body Image

Al's friend Rachel invited him to go to the lake for the day with her family. Rachel thought Al was fun to be around — plus he was cute. Rachel really hoped he'd say yes.

Al turned Rachel down. He liked Rachel, too, but was self-conscious about taking off his T-shirt. He worried that her family and others at the lake would see what he saw when he looked in the mirror — a scrawny excuse for a man. Al hadn't gone to the pool in more than a year because he was so self-conscious about his appearance.

The Truth About Guys

Many people think of guys as being carefree when it comes to their appearance. But the reality is that a lot of guys spend plenty of time in front of the mirror. It's a fact — some guys care just as much as girls do about their appearance.

You may hear a lot about being a tough guy, but how often do you hear that being a guy is tough? Guys might think that they shouldn't worry about how they look, but body image can be a real problem for them. Unlike girls, guys are less likely to talk to friends and relatives about their bodies and how they're developing. Without support from friends and family, they may develop a negative self-image.

The good news is that self-image and body image can be changed.

Why Is Body Image Important?

Body image is a person's opinions, thoughts, and feelings about his or her own body and physical appearance. Having a positive body image means feeling pretty satisfied with the way you look, appreciating your body for its capabilities and accepting its imperfections.

Body image is part of someone's total self-image. So how a guy feels about his body can affect how he feels about himself. If he gets too focused on not liking the way he looks, a guy's self-esteem can take a hit and his confidence can slide. (The same thing can happen to girls, too.)

How Puberty Affects Body Image

Although body image is just one part of our self-image, during the teen years, and especially during puberty, it can be easy for a guy's whole self-image to be based on how his body looks. That's because our bodies are changing so much during this time that they can become the main focus of our attention.

A change in your body can be tough to deal with emotionally — mainly because, well, your body is yours and you have become used to it.

Some guys don't feel comfortable in their changing bodies and can feel as if they don't know who they are anymore. Being the only guy whose voice is changing or who's growing body hair (or the only guy who isn't) can also make some guys feel self-conscious for a while.

Some guys go into puberty not feeling too satisfied with their body or appearance to begin with. They may have wrestled with body image even before puberty started (for example, battles with weight or dissatisfaction with height). For them, puberty may add to their insecurities.

It Could Be in Your Genes

It can be tough to balance what you expect to happen to your body with what actually does happen. Lots of guys can have high expectations for puberty, thinking they'll develop quickly or in a certain way.

The best way to approach your own growth and development is to not assume you'll be a certain way. Look at everyone in your family — uncles, grandfathers, and even female relatives — to get an idea of the kinds of options your genes may have in store for you.

When Everyone Else Seems Bigger

Not everyone's body changes at the same time or even at the same pace. It can be tough if all of your friends have already matured physically and are taller and more muscular. Most guys eventually catch up in terms of growth, although some will always be taller or more muscular than others — it's in their genes.

It's natural to observe friends and classmates and notice the different ways they're growing and developing. Guys often compare themselves with other guys in certain settings, and one of the most common is the locker room. Whether at a local gym or getting ready for a game at school, time in the locker room can be daunting for any guy.

Try to keep in mind in these situations that you aren't alone if you feel you don't "measure up." Many guys feel exactly the same way about their own bodies — even those whose physiques you envy. Just knowing that almost everyone else will go through the same thing can make all the difference.

You could try talking to a trusted male adult — maybe a coach, a doctor, a teacher, or your dad. Chances are they went through similar experiences and had some of the same feelings and apprehensions when their bodies were changing.

Picture Perfect?

Guys put enough pressure on themselves, but what about the pressure society puts on them to be perfect?

It used to be that only girls felt the pressure of picture-perfect images, but these days the media emphasis on men's looks creates a sense of pressure for guys, too. And sometimes (actually, many times) that "as-advertised" body is just not attainable. The men you see in those pictures may not even be real. Magazines and ad agencies often alter photographs of models, either by airbrushing the facial and muscular features, or by putting a good-looking face on someone else's buff body.

Building a Better Body Image

So in the face of all the pressure society places on guys — and guys place on themselves — what can you do to fuel a positive body image? Here are some ideas:

Recognize your strengths. Different physical attributes and body types are good for different things — and sometimes the things you did well as a kid can change during puberty. What does your body do well? Maybe your speed, flexibility, strength, or coordination leads you to excel at a certain sport. Or perhaps you have non-sports skills, like drawing, painting, singing, playing a musical instrument, writing, or acting. Just exploring talents that you feel good about can help your self-esteem and how you think of yourself.

A good body doesn't always translate into athletic success. Too often, the way guys see their body image is closely associated with their performance on a sports field or in the gym. The upside to this is that if you're good at a team sport, you might have a pretty good view of your body. But what if you don't like team sports or you got cut from a team you really wanted to make? In these cases, it helps to look at individual accomplishments.

If you don't like team sports, that's OK. Find another form of physical activity that gets you going. Depending on your interests and where you live, that may be mountain biking, rock climbing, yoga, dancing, or jogging. This will help you stay in shape and help you to appreciate skills you may not have realized you had in a team environment.

If you like team sports but didn't make a particular team, don't let it get you down. Use this as an opportunity to discover what you're good at, not to lament what you aren't best at. Maybe try out for another team — so soccer wasn't for you, but maybe cross-country running will be. Or, continue to practice the sport you were cut from and try again next year. The people around you probably won't remember that you didn't make the team — not being picked is a much bigger deal to you than it was to them.

Look into starting a strength training program. Exercise can help you look good and feel good about yourself. Good physiques don't just happen — they take hard work, regular workouts, and a healthy diet. There's no need to work out obsessively. A healthy routine can be as simple as exercising 20 minutes to an hour 3 days a week. Another benefit to working out properly is that it can boost your mood — lifting weights can lift your spirits.

Don't trash your body, respect it! To help improve your view of your body, take care of it. Smoking and other things you know to be harmful will take a toll after a while. Treating yourself well over time results in a healthier, stronger body — and that contributes to a better body image. Practicing good grooming habits — regular showering; taking care of your teeth, hair, and skin; wearing clean clothes, etc. — also can help you build a positive body image.

Be yourself. Your body is just one part of who you are — along with your talent for comedy, a quick wit, or all the other things that make you unique. Your talents, skills, and beliefs are just as much a part of you as the casing they come in. So try not to let minor imperfections take over.

While it's important to have a positive body image, getting too focused on body image and appearance can cause a guy to overlook the other positive parts of himself. If you're like most guys who take care of their bodies and wear clothes that look good, you probably look great to others. You just might not be aware of that if you're too busy being self-critical.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD

Date reviewed: January 2012

I'm a Guy . . . So How Come I'm Developing Breasts?

Ah, puberty. It can be a very interesting time in a guy's life, what with all the changes going on. In fact, it seems like every day something on your body grows bigger or hair begins sprouting somewhere. Each day brings a new change or two, and it can sometimes feel like it's hard to keep up.

It doesn't happen to every guy, but one of these changes can be the development of breast tissue. It's called gynecomastia (pronounced: guy-nuh-ko-mas-tee-uh) and it's completely normal — and almost always temporary. So how exactly does a guy happen to develop breast tissue?

What Is Gynecomastia?

Gynecomastia is a condition in which breast tissue forms in guys, usually due to normal hormonal changes during puberty. Hormones are chemicals produced by your body's glands. In a guy, hormones produced in the testicles are responsible for the physical changes that begin to take place during puberty — facial hair, muscle development, a deepening of the voice, and the lengthening of the penis, for example. Guys and girls produce both androgens (hormones that help develop and maintain male characteristics) and estrogen (a hormone that is responsible for most female characteristics).

Guys have mostly androgens in their systems, but they also have small amounts of estrogen. In girls, breast growth is caused by high levels of estrogen. Normally, when going through puberty, a guy's production of androgens increases significantly, whereas estrogen production remains low.

However, sometimes guys produce enough estrogen during puberty that some breast tissue develops. Breast tissue growth in guys can appear on one or both sides of the chest, and the breast area can feel tender. This doesn't mean you're turning into a girl or anything. It's just a minor change in your hormones as you begin to grow into adulthood.

How Common Is It?

It's estimated that about half of all males going through puberty experience some degree of gynecomastia in one or both breasts. Gynecomastia is almost always a temporary condition, and it's very unusual for the breasts to stay developed — they will eventually flatten out completely within a few months to a couple of years. It usually goes away on its own and no medical treatment or surgery is needed.

Even though it's just a temporary change for most teens, some guys with gynecomastia feel embarrassed or self-conscious about their appearance. Many guys find that wearing loose-fitting shirts helps make the condition less noticeable until the breast tissue shrinks over time. Surgical removal of the breast tissue is an option in some cases. If a guy finds his gynecomastia is bothering him, he can talk to a doctor about it.

Although the most common cause of gynecomastia is puberty, it can sometimes be caused by certain diseases or side effects of some medications. Using illegal drugs such as anabolic steroids, marijuana, or heroin can also disrupt hormonal balance and lead to gynecomastia.

There's also something called pseudogynecomastia (or false gynecomastia). This has nothing to do with puberty or hormones. It's just simply due to the fact that some guys have extra fat in the chest area, making it look like they have breasts. A doctor's exam can tell whether a guy has gynecomastia or pseudogynecomastia.

If you're concerned or have any questions about gynecomastia, talk to your doctor. Keep in mind that temporary breast tissue growth in guys is a common part of puberty that will usually go away on its own.

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD

Date reviewed: April 2010

Is My Penis Normal?

Just about every guy wonders how he measures up in the "down-there" department at one time or another. Here's the lowdown for any guy who's ever worried about whether his penis is a normal size.

There's a fairly wide range of normal penis sizes — just as there is for every other body part. And just like other parts of the body, how a penis appears at different stages of a guy's life varies quite a bit. You wouldn't expect someone who is 11 years old to look the same as someone who's 19.

Guys normally develop at different times. Some may start developing as early as 9. Others may not start developing until 15 or even later. The age at which a guy starts to grow varies from person to person. It all depends on when he enters puberty and his hormones start doing their thing.

Growth in penis size is just one part of puberty, which also includes such changes as pubic hair development, testicular growth, muscle development, and a growth spurt. Late starters almost always catch up fine — they just reach full maturity a little later.

Penises come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. These traits are hereditary, like eye color or foot size, and there's nothing you can do to change them. Despite what you may hear or read, no special exercises, supplements, or diets will speed up the development process or change a guy's size.

Also, like his feet, a guy's penis may appear smaller to him just because the perspective is different when he's looking down. And there's a lot less difference in penis size between guys when they get an erection than when their penises are relaxed.

In addition to size, guys also wonder about other aspects of how their penises look, such as whether the skin covering the penis is normal or if it's OK for a guy's penis to hang to the left or right (it is!). If you're concerned about how your penis looks, ask your doctor. Guys who are reaching puberty should have regular testicular exams, so that's a good time to ask your doctor any questions.

Taking a ride on the hormonal roller-coaster means lots of changes — and a lot of common worries — for both guys and girls. Just as guys may wonder about how their penises develop, lots of girls ask the same thing about their breasts.

If you're wondering about your development, don't try to compare yourself to your older brother or your best friend — they're probably at a different stage of development than you are anyway. The important thing to remember is that it's OK to not be a mirror image of the guy at the next urinal.

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD

Date reviewed: August 2011

Did You Know? Fun Facts About Sex

Sex – everyone's favourite topic to discuss and disgust. Here are some fun facts to kickstart your imagination or just to get the girly gossips going.

#1 Semen is good mood booster

According to researchers, it seems semen is known to contain "such mood-altering chemicals as estrone and oxytocin, which elevate mood; cortisol, which promotes affection; serotonin, which acts as an antidepressant; and melatonin, which induces sleep." Also, a teaspoon of semen contains approximately 5 calories and over 30 different substances including the above.

#2 Heavier men can last longer

Never has being big brings so much joy. Turkish researchers found that there's a connection between body mass index and male sexual performance. In the yearlong study, it was discovered that heavier men were able to make love for an average of 7.3 minutes while slimmer men only lasted an average of 108 seconds. It seems overweight men had higher levels of the female estradiol hormone which blocks male hormones and delays climax.

#3 Adulterous are the women

Ladies, this is not going to put us in a good light. It seems we are more incline to cheat and commit adultery when we are ovulating. The trigger is because we feel our most feminine during this time of the cycle where our libido is peaked, fertility causes us to strike out and seek the perfect mate. It is also easier for women to achieve orgasm during this period than any other time.

#4 Millions of sex per day

Sex is an activity enjoyed by many, no doubt. But do you know how many exactly? Everyday about 100 million couples around the world have sex. During the course of a woman's reproductive years, she would have sex more than 3,000 times. During an average man's lifetime, he would have ejaculated about 17 litres of semen – that's about half a trillion sperm.

#5 More orgasm = longer lives

Yup, the more orgasm you experience, the longer you'll live. A doctor from the Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic claims that not only will you get to live longer, you may actually feel younger by eight years too. But of course, this is in reference to men. While female orgasms haven't been studied separately, a research is telling us that women who enjoy sex live longer than those who don't.

Men & Women Do See Things Differently

Credit: Rubylane.com

You've probably shook your head hundreds of times over when it comes to your partner's choice of clothing, shoes and caps. Forgive the clueless fella as research has shown that men and women's brains really do function differently.

While men are more attentive to finer details in moving objects, women are better at differentiating between colours.

So while you may think that pink dress looks lovely, he might not be so conforming.

In the research conducted by City University of New York, the participants were asked to describe the different colours shown to them. All of them had normal 20/20 vision and none were colour blind, a condition which is commonly found in men than in women.

Overall, the men struggled to distinguish between the subtle differences in the shades of yellow, green and blue.  They also required a longer wavelength of colour to see shades like how a woman does. This means that if both sexes look at an orange, the fruit will appear redder to the man than to the woman. Similarly, grass would look yellower to a man and greener to a woman.

One reasonable explanation for this lies with the male hormone of testosterone which may affect how their brain processes and makes sense of the vision from their eyes. “We hypothesise that testosterone plays a major role, somehow leading to different connectivities for males and females,” explained Professor Israel Abramov.

One thing though, men were found to be particularly good at detecting fine detail in moving images. This, researchers said could be an indication of what might have made our forefathers such good hunters. Hence, it also explains why watching football or F1 is a favourite hobby of many guys today.

Note to self: never ever ask a man if these colours look good on you or the home you're repainting.

Is It Bad To Eat Late At Night

It's a mantra that's been whispered in your ear every night when you ask for supper, "Eating late at night makes you fat!"

But does it really?

No, it doesn't, not in a scientific point of view anyway.

A calorie is a calorie, and your body will not discriminate against a calorie that you consumed late in the evening and sentence it to exile in your bulging bottom. The recipe to getting fat is consuming more calories than you burn, and with that in mind, we can begin to understand why people think that eating late at night makes you fat:

- You move less at night than you would during the day, so it's only natural that you will burn fewer calories.

- Mindless snacking in front of the television. Actually, it doesn't even matter where you are or when you do it. Stuffing yourself with junk food will make you gain weight.

- Starving yourself and getting home late for dinner can cause you to make poor food choices. You'll also take in bigger portions of food – not because it's late at night, because you're very hungry.

So no, eating at night won't magically turn you into a pig. Rather, it's because of your choice of food and portioning that make the difference. But remember to eat 90 minutes before you go to bed so you don't overwork your body.

Sleep Your Way To Weight Loss

Over a 10-year period from 1996, the prevalence of obesity among Malaysian adults has escalated by a staggering 250%. That has put us on the top spot where we are the first among Asean countries with the highest number of obese adults. When ranked among Asian Pacific countries, we are in the sixth! That's not something to be proud of. This is worrying as the number has more than tripled over a decade, according to the National Health and Morbidity Survey in 2006, from 4% in 1996 to 14% in 2006.

Among the many contributing factors, the one that is often overlooked is lack of sleep. Sleep time is often sacrificed when we are too caught up in trying to balance work, family and recreation. According to the Philips Index for Health and Well-being: A Global Perspective Report 2010 which was published last November, among the 800 Malaysian adults who were interviewed, 81% of them said that they did not get enough sleep at night.

We are faced with two parallel trends which is increasing in body mass index (BMI) and decreasing sleep hours. It is no coincidence as many studies have shown the correlation between the two.Study after study shows that lack of sleep (less than seven to nine hours of uninterrupted slumber) is making us pile on the pounds.

A recent research from Uppsala University shows that acute sleep loss (one hour sleep lost than the usual one night of normal sleep) influences the brain region which controls our appetite sensation thus increasing the desire to eat. In modern society where insufficient sleep is a growing problem, this somewhat explains how poor sleep habits can affect people's risk of gaining weight in the long run.

So, reboot and rejuvenate. Get at least seven and eight hours of sleep each night to maintain good health and most importantly to combat obesity. Remember though, napping does not count as it cannot be substitute for night time sleep to prevent obesity.