INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and

Noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance,

Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which

Operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable

Programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and

then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0

and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply

crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these

Problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,

while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to

download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0

update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0

should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause

Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or

Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that

will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a

virus in the background that will eventually seize control of

all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is

an unsupported application and Husband 1.0 will cause it to crash.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have

limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You

might consider buying additional software to improve memory and

performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support