50 REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY

01. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
02. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
03. You know stuff about tanks.
04. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
05. Monday Night Football.
06. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
07. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
08. You can open all your own jars.
09. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
10. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
11. All your orgasms are real.
12. You understand why Stripes is funny.
13. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
14. Your last name stays put.
15. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
16. You can kill your own food.
17. The garage is all yours.
18. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
19. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
20. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
21. You never have to clean a toilet.
22. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
23. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
24. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
25. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
26. You don't have to shave below your neck.
27. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
28. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
29. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
30. You can write your name in the snow.
31. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
32. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
33. Chocolate is just another snack.
34. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)
35. Flowers fix everything.
36. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
37. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
38. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
39. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
40. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
41. Foreplay is optional.
42. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
43. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
44. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
45. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
46. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
47. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
48. One mood, all the time
49. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
50. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.