A funny thing happens on Berkshire Valley Road

AIM JEFFERSON

Dear Editor,

The popular Broadway production, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" lends itself to a play on its title. I would revise the title to "A Funny Thing Happened on Berkshire Valley Road." Seems that with the repaving of a portion of the road, a number of motorists have become enamored with the rear bumper of my vehicle, as well as others. Granted it is a pleasing shape, a pleasant color that most would agree with me and it serves a useful purpose protecting one from a rear end mishap at slow speeds. All of which I am thankful for. But I am confused by what appears to be a number of fellow motorists that appear to want to get a closer look at my rear bumper. I have to wonder if the "if a bumper by another name would still be a bumper" (play on Shakespeare). It must be that I drive the speed limit on the Berkshire Valley Road which is posted at 45 miles per hour. The more I think about this topic, the more I think that those admirers of my bumper are displeased that I am driving the posted speed limit.

One has to think the traffic engineers who have reviewed Berkshire Valley Road know that a safe speed limit is 45 miles per hour. One can also infer that by "admiring" the bumper of the vehicle directly in front of you at close range will have a casual effect for the preceding vehicle to speed up and break the law so the bumper admirer can go faster is a failed hypothesis. I am sure that many of the gesticulations are simply one citizen saying hello to another citizen of the valley. You do have to wonder why some drivers keep gesticulating all the way to the beloved light on Route 15.

Admiring the bumper of the vehicle in front of you is, I believe, titled tail-gating, and going over the posted speed limit are both offenses under the law. The logic of tail-gating escapes me as does the logic of speeding on Berkshire Valley Road only to get to the light sooner simply means you wait longer. Coming in the opposite direction and doing the above also defies logic since one could assume you would like to get home safely and not have an accident or be ticketed. So next time you are admiring a vehicle’s bumper, think about "A Funny Thing Happened On Berkshire Valley Road" and if we all took our collective foot off the gas pedal and obeyed the speed limit things would be safer for all.

Oh yes, to those gesticulators who cannot stop themselves, moving your arms is excellent cardio- health exercise.

Al Salzano

Lake Swanannoa

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